Eve
This transcript is dedicated to the memory of Kevin Smith.
We'll find Eve, Xena.
JOXER
Yeah look at all these tracks, even I could follow
'em. (to Virgil) I mean uh, you know, judging from
the uh, the hoofprints, uh chances are a large group
of men passed through here. Most likely they were
on uh, horseback I think.
XENA
Good eye Joxer. She's at least got a company.
Roman troops still loyal to her. They can't be more
than half a day ahead of us.
VIRGIL
Don't worry Xena, we'll find Eve.
XENA
You keep saying Eve. The woman we're tracking
is Livia, champion of Rome. I'm not sure that
my daughter even exists anymore.
GABRIELLE
It doesn't matter what she calls herself Xena. A
lifetime serving Rome doesn't change the fact
that she's your daughter. When she looks inside
herself she'll see you there. She'll be Eve again.
JOXER
Sure with a mother like you how bad can she be?
Followers of Eli, don't forget to turn the other cheek.
Ah-h-h-h-h!
On your knees traitors! Do you like-
Why Xena is determined to protect you sheep
is beyond me.
SENETUS
Livia, we can't find a temple to Eli in the village.
There's no proof these people were even part of
Eli's cult.
LIVIA
And I should care?! Why? Eli's followers are vermin.
They hide amongst true Romans spreading like
a sickness. If a few innocents must die to stop their
heresy, so be it. And if it vexes Xena, so much the better.
VILLAGER
You can't destroy our spirit! We've seen worse
than you. We've lived through Callisto's raids.
LIVIA
Callisto. She did some good work, but I'm not Callisto.
Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-yah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
My daughter did this.
ACT ONE
I can't believe Eve could do this.
"Rome needs no mother."
Canidus. It's Titus. These were my friends.
XENA
Get 'em down. Get 'em all down.
Xena you know this isn't your fault.
Xena? You're Xena?
That's right.
She killed them all! My husband, my children! I
asked her, "Why?! Why?!" She said, "Ask Xena.
Ask my mother!" Tell me why Xena! (crying) Why?!
Why?! Why?!
Why?
She's something, isn't she? Looks like Livia's
nearly racked up the body count you had at her age.
XENA
She's my daughter you sick bastard.
ARES
Why do you think it was so easy to turn her? Look,
this is all blood under the bridge. You give me a
child, the other gods will never find out that Eve
is still alive.
XENA
I'd rather go to hell.
ARES
Damn it I'm not asking you I'm telling you!
You give me what I want! Or I will bring all of
Olympus down on your daughter's head!
XENA
The thought of being with you, or of having your
child...that sickens me.
We'll set up camp here.
EXTRA
That's right.
EXTRA
It's about time we get a break!
Kinda early for hard stuff, huh?
LIVIA
Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
Who-o-o-oa, whoa-ho-o-o-o-o-o! Down girl. We
got some business.
LIVIA
Take your business to my mother, your long-lost
love. We've got nothing!
ARES
Oh grow up. I had a thing for Xena once, but no
longer, so get over it and get even. Wouldn't you
like that?
LIVIA
What do you think? I was supposed to marry
Augustus. I was destined to be the empress
of the empire, 'til she came back.
ARES
So what's changed? We have an arrangement.
You destroy the cult of Eli for me, I run a little divine
intervention for you, get you to be empress of Rome.
LIVIA
Where's Xena fit into all this?
ARES
She doesn't, but you're gonna have to kill her to
keep her from stopping you.
LIVIA
And the Twilight?
Aren't you afraid? Aren't you afraid I'll bring about
the end of your gods?
ARES
When you were born, there was panic on Olympus.
It cost Zeus his life. Hera vanished. And then, we
thought you were dead. For twenty-five years, and
do you know, what happened? Nothing. So
the only power you have over us is our own fear.
Reclaim your destiny Livia. Kill Xena.
It must feel great to be on the road again, leading
Xena and Gabrielle into battle again after all
these years?
JOXER
Yeah, well you know you never lose a warrior
instinct, you know.
XENA
(to Gabrielle) These tracks are fresh. I can't believe
that it's my daughter we're tracking, that it's Eve
who's doing these terrible things.
GABRIELLE
Xena this isn't the Eve that you would've raised.
Ares did this.
XENA
Ares might have opened the door but Eve had
to walk through.
GABRIELLE
How do you know that?
XENA
You said it yourself, Eve finally took a good look
inside herself, and she found me there.
GABRIELLE
That's not what I meant.
XENA
I know her rage. It's in Eve's blood Gabrielle. I made
her who she was. I was her.
GABRIELLE
Then there's hope, because you changed.
On your feet sheep!
EXTRA
Get outside! Go on! Move! You too! Get going!
You heard me!
EXTRA
I said move!
EXTRA
Go on! Quick!
EXTRA
You're going to die right here!
It's Xena!
XENA
All right boys, that's enough arts and crafts for today.
Now you'll taste the steel of Joxer the Mighty!
Wait 'til-
VIRGIL
I got it Dad.
Get 'em boy! Like I taught ya!
Where is she?!
LIVIA
Oh, Mommy.
(whispering) Joxer.
XENA
Eve.
LIVIA
I told you my name is Livia!
XENA
All right, Livia.
EXTRA
Help!
You've got a bone to pick with me. Here I am,
but let Joxer go.
LIVIA
It's time for some payback Xena. I think I'll start
with this loser.
VIRGIL
Dad!
GABRIELLE
Joxer.
Ah-h-h-h-h-h!
You okay?
JOXER
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yahhh-yah!
You can get past this anger Eve.
ARES
Don't listen to her Livia! She's just jealous of
your strength!
LIVIA
I'm glad you came back. Killing you must be part
of my destiny.
No your destiny isn't to kill. Your destiny is to
find a new way beyond the killing!
LIVIA
Shut up and fight me!
Fight me! Fight me!
Do it! She's all that stands between you and Rome!
XENA
He's lying to you Eve. He'd say anything to keep
you from your true path. That's why I came back,
to show you who you truly are.
ARES
Come on. Do it.
XENA
Listen to your heart.
My heart is a traitor.
Eve.
Die butcher!
Hey, it's all right.
Archers!
XENA
Get dow-w-w-w-wn!
Fire!
Yah!
How does it feel Xena, knowing the person you
love, despises you. Trying to reach her but knowing
in the end, it'll either be her or you.
Why did you stop me? She murdered my wife,
my daughter. What about the next family she
butchers? And the next? Their blood's on your
hands now!
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
All better now?
LIVIA
She could have let that peasant kill me. She could
have ended it right there. She saved my life. Why?
ARES
The same reason she didn't kill you in the arena.
She wants you to buy into all the touchy-feely
garbage like love and mercy.
LIVIA
She came all this way. She survived in an ice
cave for twenty-five years to find me.
ARES
She came to destroy you! Now who are you gonna
listen to? The mother who abandoned you twenty-five
years ago? Or the god, who's gonna make you
an empress?
Austia.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why Austia?
VIRGIL
It's near the coast. Eli's largest temple's there.
Word has it that the last of Eli's faithful are gathering
to pray for a miracle to help save 'em from Livia.
XENA
Well let's hope that they get one. Why don't you
guys get some rest. We're heading out at first light.
Xena, you were getting through to Eve today. All
you need, all you need is another chance.
XENA
Chances run out Gabrielle, for all of us.
GABRIELLE
If that's true, if Eve can't be changed, could you
kill your own daughter?
XENA
If I had to...yes I could.
Virgil, about today-
VIRGIL
Forget about today Dad. You were just tired.
JOXER
Listen, let me finish. I always wanted to be a great
warrior. It didn't work out. I tried to join every army
from, here to Egypt, but nobody ever wanted me,
and ah well, that's all.
VIRGIL
So you never battled the dryads?
JOXER
That was Xena.
VIRGIL
What about the harpies?
JOXER
Xena too.
VIRGIL
Sent Callisto to hell?
JOXER
Xena.
VIRGIL
Got Callisto out of hell.
JOXER
Xena.
VIRGIL
Wow. Sounds like you and Xena had some real
adventures together Dad.
JOXER
We sure did Son.
We sure did.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
If this plan is going to work, I have to get to Austia
before Eve's forces dig in.
GABRIELLE
It'll work.
XENA
See you there. (to Argo the Second) Tsk-tsk.
(whispers) Virgil.
(whispering) Virgil I have something I have to do.
If I'm not back by dawn I need you to meet Xena in
Austia like we planned.
VIRGIL
Where are you going?
GABRIELLE
Promise me.
VIRGIL
I will but what are you gonna do?
GABRIELLE
I'm gonna try to keep Xena from doing something
that she'd never forgive herself for.
Thanks.
Have the preparations been made for the attack?
SENETUS
Yes, but there's a complication.
She just walked into camp, unarmed.
LIVIA
Leave us.
Auntie Gabrielle, welcome.
GABRIELLE
I've come here-
LIVIA
No. Please, let me. You thought if you could
just talk to me, heart to heart you could convince
me that Xena wants only to help me and if I
could find it within myself to give her a chance,
Mommy would make it all better.
GABRIELLE
The gods wanted you dead. Xena risked her life
to save you. Does that mean anything to you?
LIVIA
It means she's as stupid as she is sentimental.
GABRIELLE
Your mother loves you.
LIVIA
Then why is she trying to destroy me?
GABRIELLE
Xena wants to protect you. She will not fight you.
Well maybe, she hasn't been properly motivated.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can't believe you let Gabrielle go alone.
VIRGIL
She wanted us to wait for Xena. What are you doing?!
JOXER
She could be in trouble.
VIRGIL
Dad you don't have proof-
JOXER
Listen! You get Xena and you bring her back.
VIRGIL
But Dad-
JOXER
Do what I tell you boy.
I hate this slop!
EXTRA
Yes sir! It's taken care of.
(whispers) Wow.
EXTRA
Yes sir! I'll get right on that!
JOXER
Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, to one.
Good odds.
EXTRA
Come on! Come on, you scurvy dogs! Let's move out!
Move!
EXTRA
Put that on the fire!
Today, we wipe out the remnants of Eli's cult and
I take my revenge on their champion, Xena.
GABRIELLE
It's not too late to stop this Eve.
Don't call me Eve. Tie her up.
JOXER
Xena, where are you?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h. Hit your mark baby.
Oop.
Ooh!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you think that Xena will still want that
mother-daughter reunion after she finds your
bloodless corpse, Auntie Gabrielle?
No!
Problem! Heh-heh. Spill that infidel's blood!
Personally I never like to kill infidels before noon,
though in your cases I'll make an excep-ooh! Hey
that is sharp.
Oh good. Mom's here.
JOXER
About time.
Go!
This will be much more effective with an audience.
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Rah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
Joxer get down!
No-o-o!
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! Joxer! No-o-o-o-o-o!
VIRGIL
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Yah!
EXTRA
Come one!
Oh!
XENA
(whispers) Joxer.
Dad!
Can you help him?
Hey, are you okay?
VIRGIL
(whispering) Yeah.
JOXER
(whispering) Okay.
Joxer.
JOXER
Yeah?
GABRIELLE
What were you doing?
JOXER
I didn't want, didn't want to disappoint you.
GABRIELLE
You could never disappoint me.
JOXER
What? What's the matter with you guys? I'm gonna
be fine. Come on. I'm a little cold but it doesn't
hurt anymore.
We should take him home. He would do the
same for us.
VIRGIL
I'll take him, after we deal with Livia.
XENA
Virgil you should be with Meg. This isn't your fight.
VIRGIL
Look, you have my respect because you had his,
but don't tell me this isn't my fight. Not now.
ACT THREE
Is this what it means to follow Eli? I knew my
faith would be tested but never like this.
GABRIELLE
Eli always says it takes courage to walk his path.
VIRGIL
How can I love when my heart is filled with vengeance?
GABRIELLE
I know that it's hard. When you're pushed you just
wanna push back, but you have to ask yourself,
"Is that what Eli would want?"
VIRGIL
I don't care what Eli wants. I just know what I
have to do.
That Virgil is one angry guy. I can't say I blame him.
XENA
Get lost.
ARES
But he shouldn't hate Livia, should he? You're
the one he should hate. You could have prevented
all of this, but no. Joxer is dead, because the
thought of me made you sick. Okay, but if I sicken,
your soul, stopping Livia, will kill it.
I never thought it would be my friend.
GABRIELLE
It's not your fault Xena.
XENA
Isn't it?
GABRIELLE
(whispering) No.
XENA
I spared Eve. I thought I could save her and now
Joxer is dead. What part of that isn't my fault?
GABRIELLE
You had to try.
XENA
That's cold comfort to Virgil and Meg. How many
more innocents will die before I end this?
GABRIELLE
None. Xena I went to Livia. I tried to tell her that we
love her. She didn't care.
XENA
You called her Livia.
GABRIELLE
That's who she is. Eve is dead. She's not your
daughter anymore Xena. She's Rome's.
Eli wherever you are I know you can hear me. I'm
having a little trouble understanding your message
Eli. I'm a warrior. I have a warrior's heart...and yet
you told me to...fight my enemies with compassion
instead of the sword. Well now I find I have to kill
my own daughter. My own flesh and blood. Is this
what you meant when you said I must love my enemy?
Show me another way.
Where's your infinite love?
Good, the sheep are all here. Aren't you afraid
of me?! You think Eli's gonna save you?!
Glad you could make it Xena. I hope you're not
going to ruin my day with more of your excruciating
mother-daughter platitudes.
XENA
No. I'm done talking...Livia.
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
This ends here Livia.
LIVIA
You finally get it. Eve is dead.
XENA
That's right. I'm here to avenge her.
LIVIA
Time to put you out of my misery.
XENA
Give it your best shot.
Oh yeah. Who's my girl?! Who's my girl?! You are!
Oh nice.
Attack!
What is this?
XENA
You didn't think Augustus was just going to sit
back and let you take his throne did you? He was
more than happy to lend me a few reinforcements,
and Eli's followers had to take a little holiday.
LIVIA
Attack!
Yah-h-h-h-yah!
Come on Mother. Do it.
Ares was right, you're weak.
Eli save my daughter. I couldn't.
I love you.
It's a little girl.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
We're going to be together now Eve-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-you and me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(singing) Hush now-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(singing) -my little one. Please don't you cry.
(singing) Lay your head down on my shoulder and sigh.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(singing) Sun's gone away.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(singing) And momma will pray,
Sun will keep
(singing) All while you sleep.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(whispering) Livia.
LIVIA
(crying) Ooh, what have I done?!
Livia.
No-o-o-o-o!
I had her! Why'd you stop me?!
Why-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y?!
Xena what happened?
XENA
I think Eli's followers got that miracle they were
praying for.
GABRIELLE
What did she say to you?
XENA
She said her name was Eve.
STARRING
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle
GUEST CAST
Ted Raimi as Joxer
Kevin Smith as Ares
Adrienne Wilkinson as Livia
William Gregory Lee as Virgil
Paul Glover as Senetus
Brendan Young as Young Villager
Vicky Haughton as Woman
Steve Matthews as Villager
Written by: George Strayton and Tom Oneill
Directed by: Mark Beesley
Disclaimer: Joxer's sudden and unexpected death, slowed down his rapid ageing process during the production of this motion picture.
