Callisto
I don't wanna die!
EXTRA
Kill them all!
EXTRA
Help! My baby!
Run, woman! They're trying to kill us all!
CALLISTO
"Trying"? I think we're succeeding.
Stop! Let her live. You old crone, tell the world
what we did here. Let them know what devastation
awaits anyone who defies me.
OLD WOMAN
Who are you?
CALLISTO
I'm Xena, Warrior Princess.
ACT ONE
Innkeeper, please, wine.
You look like you could use that more than me.
You all right?
MELAS
No, but thank you for your kindness. My name
is Melas.
XENA
Xena.
MELAS
Xena? The Warrior Princess?
XENA
Some people call me that.
Go ahead, murder me, just like you murdered
my son.
XENA
What are you saying?
MELAS
I found a woman from my village lying half-dead
in the road. She said you and your army murdered
everyone but her. Even my six-year-old son.
XENA
That's a lie.
MELAS
Then why does every traveler between here and
Corinth have a story about an army led by Xena?
EXTRA
That's true.
XENA
Gabrielle, come on.
MELAS
I'll avenge my son's death. I won't rest until
you're dead.
XENA
You'll do what you think you have to, but you've
got the wrong person.
We'll head toward Corinth and see if we can
make any sense of what he was saying.
Is that Xena?
EXTRA
I think it's her.
GABRIELLE
Are you all right?
XENA
See that look of fear and hatred on their faces?
GABRIELLE
Yeah.
XENA
I used to wanna see that look. It meant I was
doing my job right.
JOXER
Xena!
XENA
Yeah?
JOXER
Joxer, the Mighty, at your service.
XENA
Get lost!
JOXER
You know, a warrior needs, wait, listen. Don't
judge me because I was traveling with those
sheep. I can be of invaluable service to a woman
like you. Yeah, as a matter of fact, um, I'm a
warrior of some repute.
GABRIELLE
Hmm! I never heard of you.
JOXER
Listen, I wasn't talking to you, little girl.
GABRIELLE
Hey!
JOXER
Now, listen, I'm fierce and I have a lust for blood.
As a matter of fact, if a couple of days go by and
I haven't shed some blood, I get very depressed.
Blood and me go together like a horse and chariot.
I once bathed in a tub of blood. My nickname is
'Bloody Joxer.'
You like the sight of blood so much, keep talking.
I'm disappointed in you, Xena! I thought you'd
recognize talent when you saw it! (to himself) Oh,
she must be threatened. I can understand that,
what, with my masculine prowess and stuff.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You're a slow learner.
MELAS
I don't care how long it takes. I will see you dead
one day.
GABRIELLE
You know, if she was the monster you think she
is, she'd have killed you by now.
MELAS
She likes to see me helpless in my rage.
(to Xena) I will continue to hunt you, even if it
costs me my life.
XENA
I'm going after whoever's behind these raids.
So, be smart, and stay out of my way.
GABRIELLE
Good-bye, Melas. I hope you find peace.
MELAS
I will, once I know her evil heart has stopped beating.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You want it? Come and get it.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
I'm good! As good as you, and why not? You
made me.
It was you who shot me with that poison dart.
CALLISTO
Yes, you see, it left me free to revive your reputation
as a wanted killer of women and children.
XENA
I never killed women and children.
CALLISTO
Well, you have now.
What did you mean when you said, "I made you"?
CALLISTO
Do you remember Cirra?
I've just blocked off the flow of blood to your brain.
You'll be dead in seconds unless I release you.
Who was that woman? Don't bother struggling.
Just spit it out.
THEODORUS
Her name is Callisto.
XENA
What's she got to do with Cirra?
THEODORUS
Her family died there.
XENA
What does Callisto want? Answer the question
or I just walk away.
THEODORUS
She wants the world to see you as the demon.
Then, she wants to kill you in combat.
XENA
Where's she headed?
THEODORUS
Delphi. She plans to murder the oracle and
blame it on you.
XENA
When?
THEODORUS
At tomorrow's Apollo sacrifice.
XENA
Now remember to tell her this. She's right, I
made her, and I'll be the one to destroy her.
Be careful, I am in a bad mood.
MELAS
I saw everything. I know now it was not you who
killed my son. I'm sorry.
XENA
Save your breath. I don't want your apology.
MELAS
Let me travel with you. I'll do anything to help
you kill her.
XENA
I don't need your help.
MELAS
Look, I'm gonna go after her anyway. Why not
work with me?
XENA
I suppose I could keep you from getting killed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enough!
THEODORUS
Callisto!
CALLISTO
So...she put her touch on you?
THEODORUS
Right away.
CALLISTO
And you told her everything?
THEODORUS
Everything, just as you wanted.
CALLISTO
Good. And then she--she let you go with some
stupid message, something heroic, about
stopping me, huh?
THEODORUS
Yes, you were right about everything.
CALLISTO
Oh, oh, Xena, Xena, I can call your every move.
Ow, ow, watch the suit, would ya? Ooh, ooh!
AKTEON
We found this scum hiding in the supply wagon
we stole from the other village. He says he has
something invaluable to offer you.
JOXER
Warrior Queen, forgive my intrusion.
CALLISTO
Warrior Queen, I like that.
JOXER
It's so much better than Warrior Princess, you know.
Yes, yes it is. Now what is it you have to offer me?
JOXER
My services.
CALLISTO
Your services, really? And what is it exactly that
you do, hmm?
What do I do? I'm a warrior!
Oh, you're a warrior, how silly of me. And why
is it, dear man, that you look like an idiot, then?
Umm, I cultivate that look, to make me seem
less threatening. You see, uh, people don't fear
worthless idiots, so it's easy for me to get the
drop on 'em. Hah! See?
CALLISTO
So, you want to do something to prove yourself
to me, then?
JOXER
Anything. Please.
CALLISTO
Hmm, you know who Xena is, don't you? She
travels with someone.
JOXER
An irritating little blonde, I know.
CALLISTO
Yes, her name is Gabrielle.
You bring her to me, and you may join my legion
as a warrior.
JOXER
Consider the deed done, my Queen. (to warriors)
We're--we're all on the same team, now.
Who knows? He might be able to capture the
brat. But even if he doesn't, every distraction for
Xena will help me carry out my plan. It's almost
close to completion, Theodorus. Tomorrow, at
Delphi, Xena's weapon will be found in the
oracle's skull.
When was the last time you got some sleep, Melas?
MELAS
The night before I buried my son.
GABRIELLE
Why don't you lay down and close your eyes?
You might drift off.
MELAS
"Drift off"? You don't get it, do you? I don't want
to drift off. I'm not trying to run away from the pain.
I want to satisfy it. And the only way I can do that
is with Callisto's blood. You'd feel the same way
if you lost what I did.
GABRIELLE
Maybe.
Do you wanna talk about it?
XENA
What?
GABRIELLE
Cirra.
XENA
It was just another village to conquer, nothing
out of the ordinary. A fire broke out, and I don't
know if it was one of my men or just an accident,
but, there was a strong wind, and those flames
just swept through that town like a wave of
death. But the people were huddled in their houses,
'cause they were afraid of my army. That was
one time when my army was responsible for the
death of women and children.
And there was just a handful of survivors.
Obviously, Callisto was one of them.
GABRIELLE
You know, she'll do anything for revenge.
XENA
I don't blame her.
GABRIELLE
I do. When will this end? Look at Melas. I know
that he's a good man, but this hate is making
him an obsessed killer. Somebody has to say
no to this lust for revenge.
XENA
That is so hard to do.
GABRIELLE
You did it! When your village was destroyed, you
were infected with bloodlust. But you overcame it!
XENA
I was lucky. I saw what I'd become and I was
able to turn around. But if something happened
to Mother, or Hercules, or you, I might do just
the same.
GABRIELLE
No. No look, you promise me. If something
happens to me, you will not become a monster.
There's only one way to end this cycle of hatred
and it's through love and forgiveness.
Don't you go changing, Gabrielle.
I like you just the way you are. Go get some sleep.
GABRIELLE
No. No you promise me.
XENA
I promise.
Go. Go on.
The oracle should be arriving soon to give her prophecy.
XENA
Let's spread out and look for Callisto. Give a
yell as soon as you see her.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You wanna fight, huh?
Fine with me.
You made me mad, now, little girl.
You've just made a serious mistake.
You broke my crossbow! That does it! I'm
gonna rip you apart with my bare hands!
What are you doing?! Now, stay down!
JOXER
Are you kidding, me? I got you right where I
want you.
GABRIELLE
Will you stay down?! There's something I gotta do!
JOXER
Go ahead, run! You coward!
Duck your head!
ACT THREE
Get on, Argo! Come on.
Ah, no, no, no, no, no.
No!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Argo won't obey you and if you don't stop kicking
her, I'll break your ankles.
CALLISTO
Oh, the good Xena. What happened to you?
One day you just decided to fight for justice?
XENA
Something like that.
CALLISTO
And all the shattered people you left behind were
now supposed to cheer you, is that it?
XENA
No. What happened to you was terrible. It was
my fault and I'm sorry.
CALLISTO
Oh, well! That makes all the difference. And now,
we can be the best of friends.
That's what I think of your apology.
Xena! Xena, Melas has gone crazy. He's organizing
a lynch mob.
CALLISTO
Well, I'm not afraid to die, if that's what you're
worried about. What about you, Xena? How will
you feel to see your creation executed without
a fair trial, hmm?
GABRIELLE
Don't listen to her, Xena. You can't torture yourself
over what she's become.
CALLISTO
No! No. No, of course not. No, it's not her fault
at all that I dream every night of my mother's
screams coming from my burning home! You
tell me Xena, do you sleep well at night?!
XENA
No, I don't.
CALLISTO
Good. Well I can take whatever it is you think I
have coming to me. But you tell me this, Xena,
have you ever been tried for all of the things you
have done? Have you ever been handed over to
a mob that wanted your blood?
XENA
What would you do if I let you go?
What are you doing?
XENA
I changed, so can she.
GABRIELLE
No, her heart has been eaten away by hatred.
CALLISTO
The sight, just the sight, of Xena, Warrior Princess,
arguing on my behalf amuses me, so let me
tell you. Let me answer your question of what I
would do if you let me go. You let me go and I
will dedicate my life to killing everything you love.
Your friends, your family, your reputation, even
your horse. You see, I am being so honest with
you, because the idea of your pity is worse than
death for me. You see, you created a monster
with integrity, Xena. Scary, isn't it? Now, take
me to the mob.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
There she is!
MELAS
You've done well, Xena. We thank you for bringing
her in.
EXTRA
Kill her!
EXTRA
She tired to kill the oracle!
MELAS
You'll hand her over to us.
XENA
I'm taking her to the town jail, where she'll wait
for a fair trial.
EXTRA
She must be punished!
EXTRA
She's a demon!
EXTRA
She's a monster!
EXTRA
Kill her!
MELAS
Don't worry, we'll get her. Yeah! Death to Callisto!
Death! Death! We'll get you, Callisto! We'll get you!
Xena, they're coming. But you know that already,
don't you? What will you do? How many of them
will you kill? You're beginning to hate me. You've
fought it because of some silly sense of guilt,
huh? Now, I'm a painful reminder of what you
used to be, and how you may never leave it behind.
Ooh, that crowd wants my blood. Why not let them
have me? It's the easy way out. Nobody'll blame you.
XENA
Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you
without a fair trial.
CALLISTO
You know, there used to be some respect mixed
up in my hatred for you. But, tsk, tsk, not anymore.
Your petty scruples are an embarrassment. As
a villain, you were awesome. As a hero, you are
a sentimental fool.
Ah-hah! Got'cha!
GABRIELLE
You've gotta be kidding.
JOXER
Once I have you, I'm trading you for Callisto.
She'll reward me well.
Oh, oh, you broke my nose. I hate it when that happens!
GABRIELLE
Keep your head back! Use this.
Now, why are you attacking me?
JOXER
I am a warrior and I'm trying to make a name
for myself!
GABRIELLE
Well, I've got some bad news for you. You're not
a warrior.
JOXER
Oh, great, hit a man when he's down.
GABRIELLE
Listen, I've beaten the stuffing out of you both
times we met.
JOXER
Listen, you don't understand. I come from a long
line of warlords. It's like a family tradition.
GABRIELLE
Well, I'm really sorry, but you don't have that
warrior thing.
JOXER
You don't think so, huh?
GABRIELLE
No, but that's all right. That's all right. There are
other things you can do, you know. What interests
do you have?
JOXER
I like to steal.
GABRIELLE
Other than that.
JOXER
I like fishing.
GABRIELLE
Well, there you go. You'd make a great fisherman.
JOXER
You think?
GABRIELLE
Yep, absolutely. And I--I've got a feel for people.
JOXER
Thanks. I'm Joxer, by the way.
GABRIELLE
Gabrielle.
Hah! Got you now!
This should bring her out.
Yeah!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Perfect. I'm gonna die just like my family. It's kind
of full circle, don't you think?
Oh, no, no, no! Not to fear, Xena, I won't be
screaming out like my sister.
Come on, we're leaving.
She's kidnapped the girl!
EXTRA
Somebody help!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACT FOUR
Where is she?
MELAS
She was right!
XENA
What are you talking about?
MELAS
Gabrielle. She said my hate would lead to others
being hurt.
What are you saying?
MELAS
Callisto captured Gabrielle on her way out of town.
I've betrayed everything I believe in.
XENA
People like us should listen to people like Gabrielle.
Hurry, now!
CALLISTO
So, what do you think?
GABRIELLE
I think Xena's gonna wipe the floor with you.
CALLISTO
I share your respect for Xena's abilities. I know
what she's capable of.
GABRIELLE
Then you must be scared witless.
CALLISTO
Not at all. I relish the challenge. I can take her.
GABRIELLE
In your dreams.
CALLISTO
Well when she gets here, she'll have such a
sweet surprise waiting for her. Anyways, either
way, I win.
Quit that!
THEODORUS
I found this worm sneaking around again!
CALLISTO
What do you want? I told you what you had to
do to gain my favour and you failed.
JOXER
See the girl!
CALLISTO
I captured the girl.
JOXER
I softened her up for you. I mean, just minutes
before you got her, I was pummeling her senseless.
CALLISTO
Yes, and what were you hitting her with, your nose?
Silence! There is but another way you can prove
your worth.
JOXER
Name it and I'll do it.
CALLISTO
Bring her down.
Do her.
JOXER
Do who?
CALLISTO
Her. The irritating blonde. Slit her throat.
JOXER
I uh, oh. I uh, sl--sl--slit her, slit her throat?
CALLISTO
Yes, pierce the skin under the chin with the blade
and tear a hole this way, like this.
Okay.
CALLISTO
Yes.
JOXER
Listen, don't you think she'd be worth more alive?
I mean, hey, we could trade her for Xe...it would
make Xena really mad, really mad. When Xena
hears about this, she'll-
CALLISTO
I want her dead! Do it! Do it!
I--I--I-
CALLISTO
Just as I thought. The man's backbone is mush.
Chain him up. We'll have fun killing the jellyfish later.
Ah. Hey.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, we determine who is the best. You and I
in a fight 'til death. And to make things even more
interesting, take her up!
THEODORUS
Take her up!
Do something!
JOXER
What do you expect me to do?!
GABRIELLE
Xena! Oh, this is really high.
CALLISTO
Light it!
Anytime you're ready, Xena.
EXTRA
Yeah!
EXTRA
Come on!
Come on Xena! You're almost there!
Xena!
Kill her!
EXTRA
You got it!
EXTRA
Come on Callisto!
Come on, Xena! Go Xena! Hurry! Come on! Hurry!
Wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo!
GABRIELLE
Come on!
XENA
Come on.
Help! Yeah!
JOXER
The rope's burning! She'll fall a little to the left!
GABRIELLE
Hurry!
XENA
Hold on, Gabrielle! Hold on. Don't panic.
GABRIELLE
A little higher!
XENA
Come on, Gabrielle.
In a way, I'm disappointed, Xena. There was a
part of me that hoped that you would win and
put out the rage in my heart. Sometimes, it even
scares me. But then I get over it.
No! Let it burn.
No! No! Ohh!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm glad you saved Callisto.
XENA
It was the right thing to do.
The right thing to do...that's what they think.
END OF ACT FOUR
STARRING
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle
GUEST CAST
Hudson Leick as Callisto
Ted Raimi as Joxer
David Te Rare as Theodorus
Ian Hughes as Melas
Kenneth McGregor as Akteon
Patricia Donovan as Old Woman
Michael Hallows as Tall Villager
Toby Mills as Tall Man
Henry Vaeoso as Fat Warrior
Written by: R.J. Stewart
Directed by: T.J. Scott
Disclaimer: Joxer's nose was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, his crossbow was severely damaged.
