One Against an Army
Gabrielle gets ready and Xena watches. Gabrielle runs at her staff which is held vertical by two poles. She uses the staff and flips.
Swing! Ha!
XENA
Terrific! Now, can we head for Thessaly, before
you hurt yourself?
GABRIELLE
No, no, no. No, wait.
Gabrielle pulls a little Xena toothpick dollie out of her cleavage and demonstrates with it.
You see, I've worked out the mechanics, the speed,
trajectory, and finally, the arc of the spin.
XENA
Good.
What's the point?
GABRIELLE
Your flip. Basically, I've broken it down into its
relatively simple steps.
XENA
Oh, yeah? What foot do I start on?
Xena puts one of the dollie's leg in her mouth.
Don't confuse me. (takes the dollie and puts it
back in her cleavage) This time, no staff. Watch.
XENA
Gabrielle, before I tried the flip without the staff, I
made three hundred attempts with it.
GABRIELLE
Slow learner, huh, Xena? I had that problem with
basket-weaving.
XENA
It's the right foot, but I'd rather you didn't.
GABRIELLE
It's not like it's gonna kill me. Let me try it one
time, okay? That's all I need. One time.
Wrong foot.
Gabrielle does a flip, but lands hard on her ankle and shouts.
I'm telling you, my ankle is fine.
XENA
Come on, let me take a look at it. Don't let pride
get in the way. You tried something and you failed.
It happens.
GABRIELLE
It's nothing serious, Xena.
Xena picks up Gabrielle's foot.
Ow! Ow! O-oh.
XENA
Good thing it's nothing serious.
Xena feels Gabrielle's ankle.
Ah!
Ow! That doesn't hurt.
XENA
Already too swollen, huh?
GABRIELLE
I'll walk it off.
XENA
I'm not gonna tell ya that you shouldn't'a tried
that flip.
GABRIELLE
You'll work it in.
XENA
Gabrielle, look out! Hit the dirt!
GABRIELLE
Ah-h!
Gabrielle jumps to the ground and Xena throws her chakram, breaking Gabrielle's boot.
Why did you do that?
XENA
A new theory on testing for sprains. Elevation
and ice-cold water.
GABRIELLE
Yeah, well I'm not very thirsty.
XENA
Sit down.
GABRIELLE
Now you owe me a nice pair of boots.
XENA
Yeah.
GABRIELLE
Ow!
PHIDDIPIDES
You, there! Run for your lives.
XENA
Why? What's going on?
PHIDDIPIDES
A huge army landed two nights ago and a fleet
of tall ships, foreign, laid waste to our troops in
Marathon. They're headed this way on a forced
march for Athens.
XENA
Tall ships, three masts?
PHIDDIPIDES
Yes.
XENA
A double row of oarsmen.
PHIDDIPIDES
That's right.
XENA
Persians.
GABRIELLE
Have you fought these guys before?
XENA
Gabrielle, over that mountain is the most ruthless
army ever to take up weapons. If they reach Athens,
Greece is lost.
GABRIELLE
What are we going to do?
XENA
Stop them.
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
GABRIELLE
The Spartans were fighting at Marathon, alongside
the Greeks? That's a first.
PHIDDIPIDES
Unfortunately, they were slaughtered. They fought
bravely, but they were so outnumbered, they never
had a chance.
XENA
Persians will swarm through this land like
man-eating locusts. We'd better move quickly.
I've never seen such an attack. The sky was so
thick with arrows, you couldn't see the sun.
XENA
Someone had better warn the Athenians.
Xena helps Gabrielle onto Argo and Gabrielle groans.
Phiddipides, can you run on to Athens and tell
them about Marathon?
PHIDDIPIDES
Yes.
XENA
Good. Pace yourself. In this heat, a run like that
could kill you. We'll try to slow them up.
GABRIELLE
Stopping an army isn't that something that you try
about three hundred times before you actually do it?
XENA
Keep that foot elevated.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go on, say it. We'd move a lot faster if I hadn't
tried that.
XENA
Tried what?
GABRIELLE
The flip?
XENA
Oh, the pass.
GABRIELLE
The pass?
XENA
The pass at Thermopylae, that's the answer.
GABRIELLE
What's the question?
XENA
That's the shortest route from Marathon. The
Persians have to go through there, so it's the
best place to stop them.
GABRIELLE
Two against an army?
XENA
No, an army against a landslide that we cause,
thereby sealing it off.
GABRIELLE
Of course. Look, Xena, I'm slowing you down.
Why don't you go ahead, create the landslide?
I'll wait here.
XENA
No. Persian advance scouts travel ahead of the
infantry. They'd find you.
GABRIELLE
Stupid ankle. If only I hadn't tried that.
XENA
Well, it that is the worse thing that happens today,
I'll be thrilled.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena, what about that thing that you did in China?
You know? That power that you had. It could
destroy an entire army.
XENA
I wish I could still call it up, but, that took a purity
of essence that...well, it's gone now.
GABRIELLE
Has it occurred to you that, well, maybe the landslide
will only delay them? I mean, what if the Persians
just go around the mountain, and continue on
to Athens?
XENA
Then we'll have them exactly where we want them.
GABRIELLE
Where?
XENA
Tripolis. I used to keep a secret armory in the
area. If we're lucky the weapons will still be there.
We'll be ready for 'em.
GABRIELLE
We? As in you and me? The two of us?
XENA
As in you, me, and the Tripolis militia.
GABRIELLE
Oh, that 'we.'
Dorian leaps out in front of Xena with his sword raised.
Give up the horse, or the last thing you see will
be your heart in my hand.
XENA
I don't give up my heart to just anyone. You've
been following us for the last half an hour. All that
time for this move?
DORIAN
Help her down, or I will!
XENA
All right, I can see you're obviously pressed for time.
Right foot first.
Xena fights Dorian. Xena beats him without effort.
He's a Spartan from his clothes, unless he stole
them from some real warrior.
DORIAN
I am a Spartan! I fought at Marathon! When my
commander saw we were losing, he sent me to
find a fall-back position! Unfortunately, my horse
came up lame, and I had to kill him!
Argo whinnies.
Don't get any ideas.
DORIAN
I wanted your horse to finish my mission and
get this treated.
It's pretty bad.
XENA
It's only a flesh wound. I can dress it.
Did you get that running from battle?
DORIAN
Spartans don't run.
Xena sheathes her sword.
Oh, I know. They fight to the death.
Not a nick on it. You're a deserter, aren't you?
DORIAN
No--no--no--no, I s...I swear, on my father's life!
XENA
Oh, a coward and a liar. Your father must be proud.
DORIAN
All right, all right! I admit it! I ran! I abandoned my
people to slaughter. I'm a disgrace to my homeland!
GABRIELLE
Everybody feels fear.
XENA
But we don't all run. If we did, there'd be no home
left to run to. I'm offering you a chance to redeem
yourself. Join us.
DORIAN
Join you?! Huh, against that army?! What good
can the three of us possibly do?!
GABRIELLE
Xena has a plan to stop them.
DORIAN
You do?
XENA
Yeah, and you'll fit into it nicely.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What village in Sparta are you from, Dorian?
DORIAN
Mizola, the most beautiful village in the Peloponnese.
XENA
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's famous for that waterfall,
seventy feet high.
DORIAN
Yes, I pray that I one day see that waterfall again
and my wife and son, Zacheris. Wonder what
he'll think of me when he discovers his father is
a coward.
GABRIELLE
You can change. He doesn't have to know about
the one time that you failed.
DORIAN
What if I fail again?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quickly! The enemy!
The Persians move.
Xena, you still haven't told me your plans to stop
the Persians.
XENA
Oh, haven't I? Huh.
Dorian moves ahead and Xena stops Argo and speaks to her.
Hey, I want you to take Gabrielle into the woods
and keep her there, all right?
GABRIELLE
What is it? Did you see something?
XENA
Sunlight glinting on steel up ahead. It's the advance
party I've been expecting.
GABRIELLE
I can still fight.
XENA
Don't argue with me. I'll explain later. Go on, get
out of here.
Gabrielle rides off. Xena moves to join Dorian.
Get ready for a fight, Spartan.
Xena throws her chakram. She flips with a yell.
Get her!
Xena fights the Persians. Dorian does nothing.
Dorian! Dorian, snap out of it!
She kicks him.
GABRIELLE
Dorian, fight or take refuge! Come on! Come on!
Gabrielle.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gabrielle.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is my fault. My fault!
XENA
Go and do something useful! Make a fire!
It's not, it's not that bad.
XENA
Gabrielle, this is going to be painful. Ready?
Ahhh!
Xena starts to push out the arrow.
Ooohhh. Ah.
Xena turns Gabrielle unto her back and takes hold of the arrow.
Ahh! That's enough!
XENA
Oh, no.
Xena pulls it out.
Ahhhhh! Ohhh!
It's out.
Ah, I hardly felt a thing.
Xena smells the tip.
What is it?
XENA
Poison.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
Xena heats a pointed stick in the fire. She moves to Gabrielle.
Ready?
Xena touches the heated wood to Gabrielle's wound and she screams.
Ow!
Xena then puts the heated stick through the front part of Gabrielle's wound.
Ahh! Ah.
DORIAN
Will it get the poison out?
XENA
No, it's already moving through her system.
Xena moves back to the fire.
Why did you come back for me?
GABRIELLE
I wanted you to see that waterfall and your son Zacheris.
Xena rejoins them with bandages and a mixture.
I'm sorry I froze. I guess I came up short again,
huh? Can we still execute your plan?
XENA
Don't you worry about my plan.
Xena starts to cover Gabrielle's wound.
Dorian's right to be concerned, Xena. Just why
don't you leave me and go on ahead?
XENA
The advance scouts travel a day ahead of the
main force, so we still have time.
GABRIELLE
Be honest with me Xena. How bad is this poison.
XENA
It didn't hit a main artery. This poultice will delay
the effects until we can get to Tripolis and treat it
with a serum. By tomorrow, you'll be trying those
flips again...with a staff.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
If she dies-
XENA
She won't!
DORIAN
Yes but, if she dies, I'm sure you'll hate me for
freezing up like that. You'll blame me for the rest
of your life!
XENA
How I feel about you doesn't matter! You're the
one who has to live with yourself. After today, I'll
never see you again, one way or the other.
DORIAN
But with Gabrielle hurt, doesn't this change your plans?
XENA
Yes! Yes, it does. Look, I need you to come through
for me, now more than ever. With Gabrielle injured,
we're moving too slowly. I need you to run ahead
to Tripolis.
DORIAN
Anything, anything at all.
XENA
I need you to tell the head of the militia to get his
men ready to meet me. There's been a landslide
at the pass at Thermopylae-
DORIAN
The pass is blocked? Then there's hope! You
didn't tell me that!
XENA
Well, you better get moving. It's risky. There may
be more Persian scouts ahead.
DORIAN
Thanks for giving me another chance.
They clasp arms.
I'll see you later, with help.
This time, no amount of fear will stop me from
doing my duty.
GABRIELLE
Make your son proud. Be careful.
DORIAN
Okay.
Dorian runs off.
I think you might have changed him.
XENA
Hmm.
GABRIELLE
I don't understand, there's no landslide at the pass.
XENA
And there's no waterfall at Mizola.
GABRIELLE
What?
XENA
Spartans, from the age of eight, carry around a
wooden stake. They're constantly squeezing it
between their hands to harden them. When I
helped him up this morning, I noticed there were
only a few calluses on his sword hand. He's no Spartan.
GABRIELLE
Then where is he from?
XENA
Persia. He's a spy.
GABRIELLE
But he has a wound.
XENA
One of his fellow Persians gave him that to make
his story more convincing. Right now, he's rushing
back to tell them there's been a landslide.
GABRIELLE
So that we don't have to do it. The army will be
diverted anyway.
XENA
Right into us and the militia. Now, let's get you
to Tripolis and get you treated.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is this place?
XENA
Tripolis, or what's left of it.
GABRIELLE
Hmm.
Everybody's fled.
XENA
The militia razed their own town. They didn't want
to leave anything behind for the Persians. There-
GABRIELLE
It's the physician's hut.
XENA
Stay here.
No serum. No militia. You know, Xena, they say
that bad things come in threes. How about that
armory, huh?
We're not staying here. We're moving on to
Thessaly after all. They'll have medicine there.
GABRIELLE
No, just wait.
XENA
We can take the back roads.
GABRIELLE
But your plan? Dorian would have told the Persians
about Thermopylae. (coughs) That means that
they'll be heading here, and you've promised the
people that you will slow them down, right? So,
let's, let's take care of that first.
XENA
No, first the serum. We can get back in time to-
GABRIELLE
Xena, we can't make it back in time to slow down
the Persians. And if we can't stop them while the
Athenians are moving up, then Athens is going
to fall. How long do I have?
Well, we'll just have to stand and fight now, won't
we? Tomorrow, we'll go to Thessaly. It's a chance
that we have to take.
Xena hears a sound.
Horses. Persian cavalry. It's the advance party.
Come on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here, sit down.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-aren't we going to the armory?
XENA
Yep, we just got there.
We bought ourselves some time with that shortcut.
Not too shabby for three years. I hid these here
in case I ever had another army. Didn't think I'd
need them again.
GABRIELLE
I didn't know that I qualified as an army.
(whispers) Okay.
GABRIELLE
Xena, in case this poison starts spreading faster-
I do have a last request.
XENA
You can tell me about it later, years from now,
when we're old and gray.
GABRIELLE
Oh, that's funny. Really, uh, after you've slowed
down the Persians, if I can't make it, I want you
to save yourself. I don't want to be a burden to you.
XENA
I can't promise that.
GABRIELLE
We're all gonna die, eventually.
XENA
Not today. Look, Gabrielle, I know it's bad, but
we've survived worse, right? Right?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you all right? What are you doing sitting up?
GABRIELLE
I was just uncomfortable on my back.
The Persians are out there, aren't they?
XENA
Yes.
GABRIELLE
How many campfires?
XENA
Thirty or forty.
Xena starts to mix the herbs.
Ten men or so per fire. That's good. For a minute
there, I thought we were in trouble.
At least we have the element of surprise in our favour.
XENA
It's the main cavalry, their best warriors.
GABRIELLE
Well, we only have to delay them, right? Just
bloody their noses a little bit.
XENA
You just let me worry about their noses. I've gotta
find someplace to hide you until after the battle.
GABRIELLE
I guess I'm gonna miss out on all the fun, huh?
You know, it's occurred to me that, this is just a
clever diversion, to make me forget about my boots.
My chest feels so he--heavy.
What?
XENA
Blood. The arrow must've grazed your lung. The poison...
GABRIELLE
I just ran out of time didn't I?
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
Outside.
(coughs) That doesn't look like a weapon.
XENA
It's not. It's a litter. I'm putting you on it and getting
you outta here.
Why? Did the Persians pull back? Xena, you can't
do this. You can't leave, not if they're still out there.
You're the only one.
XENA
Gabrielle, quiet!
GABRIELLE
Look, I know what you're doing. You can't. If you
don't hold them up-
XENA
I am not going to let you die. I can still get you to
Thessaly and the antidote.
GABRIELLE
And then what? What happens to Athens? What's
my life worth then?
XENA
First things first.
GABRIELLE
The first thing is the greater good, you taught me
that. You taught me that there are things in life
worth dying for, things that hold a higher meaning
than our own existence.
XENA
Not your existence.
GABRIELLE
Why? 'Cause I'm your friend?
XENA
Yes!
GABRIELLE
Well then, honour my memory. We both know that
I'm right. This is right. Xena, promise me, promise
me that you will not leave this battle because of me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Help me.
Xena runs to her.
Hey. Hey. I'm here.
GABRIELLE
Xena.
XENA
Yes?
GABRIELLE
You've got to take me with you, teach me everything
you know. You can't leave me here in Poteidaia.
I wanna go with you. I've studied the stars, spoken
with philosophers and I have the gift of prophecy.
I can be very valuable to you. Take me with you.
I want so much to be like you.
And I want to be like you.
A tear rolls down Xena's face.
Kill her!
Xena!
XENA
Ugh!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena?
XENA
We're leaving.
GABRIELLE
I thought that we agreed.
XENA
I changed my mind.
GABRIELLE
There's no other way.
XENA
There has got to be another way! I'm going to
get us out of this.
GABRIELLE
It's too late for me.
XENA
I don't accept defeat. There are always choices.
I'm done paying for my past mistakes. My
responsibility now is you.
GABRIELLE
Don't.
XENA
Don't argue with me now.
GABRIELLE
Don't you argue with me! I know that I'm going to
die, I accept that. Why can't you? A long time
ago, I accepted the consequences of our life
together, that it might one day come to this. It has.
I'm not afraid.
XENA
You always said that I was the brave one. Look
at you now. If this is to be our destiny, let's see
it out together. Even in death, Gabrielle...I will
never leave you.
Hey. Hey. I want you to run away from here. You
run as far as you can. Don't you stop for any stallions.
Argo runs but then turns back and rears with a loud whinny.
Go on! You do as I say! Go!
Argo leaves and Xena heads back.
Gabrielle?
GABRIELLE
I'm still here. I think. Strange, I seem to have moved
beyond the pain.
XENA
Here. I have a poultice ready for you.
GABRIELLE
No, please, don't--don't bother with that. I can't fight.
I can't be of any help to you, so please, I'm just
distracting you.
XENA
But you're my source, Gabrielle. When I reach
down inside myself and do things that I'm not
capable of, it's because of you. Don't you know
that by now? Let's just see this one through together,
all right?
Here we go. Yeah. Uh-uh.
Okay. Here, you, come on.
GABRIELLE
Now I have a better view.
XENA
I'm gonna put the boiling oil over by the ladder.
The minute they start up, you tip it. Just push it
on them.
GABRIELLE
You'll be down there.
XENA
If they're coming up the ladder, then it means
they got past me. If they got past me, well...
GABRIELLE
Watch out for a man with a double-edged sword.
XENA
What?
GABRIELLE
I had a dream and he came through the roof.
Just be careful.
XENA
Always looking out for me, huh?
GABRIELLE
Always. Xena? About China, I hope you know I
never meant to hurt you. I only did what I thought
was right.
XENA
Gabrielle, that's all in the past. All I want is to be
with you right now. You're my best friend, my family.
I love you, Gabrielle.
GABRIELLE
I love you, Xena.
XENA
'Til the other side, then. We'll be together.
GABRIELLE
'Til then.
Gabrielle lies back down. The sound of horses.
They're coming.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACT FOUR
The Persians ride.
Archers! Fire!
Xena, see it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gabrielle, do it!
GABRIELLE
Oh.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gabrielle! Now!
GABRIELLE
Uh-h-h-h-h-h!
She pours boiling oil on the Persian soldiers.
Come and get me!
Xena climbs and flips through the roof with a yell. She draws her sword and battles the Persians on the roof.
Told you I'd be back...with help.
Poison, just like Gabrielle.
I'm going to let you die quicker, but with much
more pain.
The Persians attack Xena. Dorian crawls along.
That's right, crawl. Crawl for your stinking life!
Xena continues fighting.
Yah!
Dorian grabs a bottle from a fallen Persians, but before he can drink, Xena grabs the bottle.
You feeling better, now that you found your medicine?
He attacks Xena. Another soldier runs at them, and Xena pushes Dorian onto the other soldier's blade. Xena continues fighting. Xena wins and the Persians stand, looking at her.
Go home, there are thousands more like me!
They leave.
Yeah, come on.
EXTRA
Enough, come on!
EXTRA
Back to the horses.
Xena waits until they clear out and then flips up to Gabrielle.
Gabrielle, I have the antidote.
Gabrielle doesn't move. Two more Persians attack, and Xena deals with them and then turns back to Gabrielle.
Hey, Gabrielle. Hey. Hey, can you hear me?
Xena pours the antidote onto her hand and touches it to Gabrielle's lip. Gabrielle tastes it and wakes up.
Hmm, are we dead?
XENA
No. No. Here, drink this.
Gabrielle does and coughs.
I thought that you said those guys were tough.
Xena lies down, exhausted.
Must have caught them on an off day.
GABRIELLE
You're hurt.
XENA
No, I'm all right. Hmm, you just get some sleep.
We'll be heading out in a few hours.
Xena?
XENA
Hmm?
GABRIELLE
When we get to Thessaly...you still owe me a
new pair of boots.
END OF ACT FOUR
STARRING
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle
GUEST CAST
Douglas Kamo as Dorian
Nick Kemplen as Phiddipides
Written by: Gene O'Neill and Noreen Tobin
Directed by: Paul Lynch
Disclaimer: Gabrielle's ankle was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
