When in Rome...
Take that!
VERCINIX
Take that!
EXTRA
Regroup!
EXTRA
Get up!
EXTRA
Fall back!
They're regrouping.
MENDALA
Vercinix, the Romans have attacked the pass. We
can hold them.
VERCINIX
How long?
MENDALA
Not long. Long enough to get everyone out.
Most everyone.
VERCINIX
Clear the village! Take to the northern hills and
regroup! The Gauls will not be defeated!
No. Mendala, you go with them.
MENDALA
But-
VERCINIX
They need you. Someone has to lead, and
someone has to stay here.
Now go. Get our children to safety.
MENDALA
I love you. Come on. We'll wait for your father in
the hills. Let's go.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shields!
VERCINIX
Gauls!
For the glory of Rome!
EXTRA
Attack!
EXTRA
Yah! Yah!
EXTRA
Step aside!
Take off the net!
EXTRA
It's Caesar!
So, the legend is lacking. Not quite the god
the stories made you out to be.
VERCINIX
Mortals can be conquered, Caesar, but you'll never
conquer Gaul! My people-
CAESAR
Your people mean nothing to me. I only want
you, Vercinix. Because with you, I'm going to
secure an empire.
Syria will bring these Roman dogs to heel, one
dog at a time!
Him!
Get it!
Xena!
XENA
Hello, Crassus! How's your backside, huh?
Ah-h-h! Ah-h-h-h!
Xena, the captain said he'd hold the boat, but he
won't hold it for long.
XENA
Suits me. One of those armies will be coming
up this trail any minute. All right! Come on!
CRASSUS
Oh, Xena! I'm reluctant to thank you for saving
me. After all, last time I saw you, you swore you'd
kill me on sight.
XENA
That was before you became useful.
CRASSUS
Crassus, a member of the triumvirate of Imperial
Rome, useful to Xena?
XENA
I'm gonna trade you for Vercinix.
CRASSUS
Vercinix, he was captured by Caesar. You're going
up against Caesar. I have to admit I wouldn't wanna
miss this for the world.
XENA
Oh, I guarantee, you're gonna get a front-row seat.
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
We'll be pulling into port, soon. Here, hope you
like gruel. I know it's not what the Roman elite
are used to eating, but...
CRASSUS
You hate me, too. Why?
GABRIELLE
You're a friend of Caesar's.
CRASSUS
I'm not his friend. I'm a convenience, just as he
is to me, as Pompey is. The triumvirate is not
an easy alliance.
GABRIELLE
Triumvirate? What is that?
XENA
Three warlord rulers instead of one.
CRASSUS
Warlords, far from it. It's politics. It's all about-
XENA
Power, nothing more. Caesar, Pompey, and
Crassus share control of Rome and its provinces.
Each serves to balance the other. They hate each
other but they can't live without each other.
CRASSUS
Yes, Xena, it is about power. The appearance of
it, the possession of it, the wielding of it. You're
quite familiar with that, aren't you?
The imperial ring of Rome.
And a thief. I'm impressed.
XENA
I need to prove to Caesar that I have you. That
way I can make the deal for Vercinix.
CRASSUS
Do you think Caesar would release a man with
the reputation of Vercinix? His capture is a source
of power as will be his execution.
XENA
Not anymore. Caesar needs you. He's cultivated
quite a following at home, but at a cost. You still
have an army in the field, and he needs that.
CRASSUS
This isn't about Vercinix, is it?
XENA
Go on, tell us.
CRASSUS
Assassination. Caesar's blood on your blade.
This is your way of getting to him.
GABRIELLE
You're wrong.
CRASSUS
Am I? Have you ever seen Xena around him? Her
judgment gets a little impaired and others suffer.
XENA
Well, I'm over that. Take him below, only be careful.
He's smart.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
POMPEY
I want control of the aqueduct!
CAESAR
Out of the question, Pompey. You ask too much.
POMPEY
Do I? You got no choice. With Crassus dead, I
can take what I want.
CAESAR
Do, and you'll get a civil war. The people are with
me, Pompey. It's spectacle, that's what they want,
that's what I give them.
POMPEY
Oh, yes, the people. Huh. An army of citizens up
against the hardened legions of Pompey the
Magnus. Oh, what a battle that'd be.
CAESAR
Very well. You may have your aqueduct, but there's
a vote coming up in the Senate. I need your support.
Caesar! There's someone here to see you! To
be honest, sir, we couldn't keep her out. She's
unarmed, but she's-
POMPEY
She?
Xena. This is impossible. How can you j...this
is Rome. You can't...you...
XENA
There's a sentence in there just dyin' to get out.
Huh. Sorry about your soldiers. We were playing
tag in the forum, and I gotta tell ya, they don't lose well.
POMPEY
This is Xena.
CAESAR
Yes, uh, an old friend, uh, enemy, friend, I forget
where we left off.
XENA
We weren't on speaking terms.
CAESAR
Pompey, if you'll excuse us, please.
POMPEY
I don't think so. Besides, if this concerns Rome,
it concerns me.
XENA
And who are you?
POMPEY
Pompey the Magnus.
GABRIELLE
Magnus?
POMPEY
Short for Magnificent, a deserved title, as Caesar
knows. And you had something to tell us.
XENA
Oh, Crassus.
POMPEY
Crassus is dead. The Parthians-
XENA
Crassus has an army. He's got money.
And I got him.
CAESAR
I see. And you're just going to hand him over to me.
XENA
As soon as you give me Vercinix.
CAESAR
Vercinix? That's no small request. His capture
means a lot to my people.
XENA
I'll send over the finger that this belongs on
tomorrow. And after that, I'll be more creative.
How do I know Crassus hasn't been killed?
XENA
I'll take you to him.
CAESAR
How do I know I won't be killed?
GABRIELLE
I'll stay here in your place. She won't hurt you as
long as they have me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I left it in the galley.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caesar! I knew you'd come.
CAESAR
Really, I don't know why I bothered. I thought you
were a capable ally, a good balance against
Pompey. But look at you, captured and chained by
a woman that I captured and chained. I
don't know.
CRASSUS
Don't even go there. You need me, we both
know it. Now, make the trade, and let's get outta here.
CAESAR
You're right. Pompey has become a little...difficult,
since word of your death. Unfortunately, the trade
can't happen immediately. I've already planned a
little party for this evening to show off Vercinix.
(to Xena) I'd like you to accompany me, without your
weapons, of course.
XENA
Whatever it takes. Let's just get this over with.
Divide and conquer, Crassus. Her friend is the
key. Hmm?
ACT TWO
I'll come back to the boat when I'm done scouting
around. When this starts to move, it's gonna move fast.
GABRIELLE
And that's assuming that I can get Crassus into
the cell?
XENA
You have to do it. Caesar is not going through
with this trade. That's why we have to make the
switch with Vercinix. By the time he discovers that
it's Crassus in the cell, it'll be too late.
GABRIELLE
And that's the plan? Right? The whole plan?
XENA
What are you getting at?
GABRIELLE
Look, I know you want Vercinix out. But I wanna
make sure there's not another part of this plan
that you're not telling me. You know? Like-
XENA
Like assassinating Caesar.
GABRIELLE
Yeah, like that.
XENA
Gabrielle, this is no time for you to have a crisis
of faith. You have got to trust me. I am not
going to give in to that. If this works out, the only
one in danger is Crassus.
GABRIELLE
Crassus? You don't mean he might be killed,
do you?
XENA
That's up to Caesar. Crassus is not my concern,
freeing Vercinix is.
GABRIELLE
Yeah, but if Caesar kills Crassus and I put him
there...Xena, uh, I cannot send a man to his death.
XENA
A man? Crassus stopped being a man a long
time ago. The village of Gardenis was his crowning
achievement. It surrendered to him without a fight.
He then crucified over one hundred men, women,
and children along the Appian Way. It doesn't matter.
Caesar's the one who makes the decision.
Crassus is valuable to him. Good luck.
Brutus, you were with Caesar when he met Xena.
Is she to be trusted?
BRUTUS
No, except in her hatred of Caesar.
Well, thank you!
I was going to present Vercinix first, but I
didn't want anything spoiling your entrance.
Why bring him in at all, when you're going to free him?
I'll handle that. Vercinix has become quite an
issue with my people. He defeated four Roman
legions before I brought him to heel. Excuse me.
So, why do they call you the Warrior Princess?
Because 'Caesar' was taken.
POMPEY
(laughs) I like you. (clears throat)
XENA
Don't. I'm not a likeable person.
POMPEY
Neither am I. But even common enemies can
make friends overnight.
XENA
Common enemies? Anyone in particular?
POMPEY
Don't assume all of Rome loves Caesar. These
people are impressed with his victory over
Vercinix. But there are those that wouldn't cry over
Caesar's death.
Citizens of Rome! I present to you, the prize that
has eluded all, all except the great Julius Caesar!
The barbarian, Vercinix!
Come on, you dog!
CAESAR
Descended from a line of great warriors, master
of Gaul, a legend like no other. I give to you,
Vercinix the Magnus. (looks at Pompey)
POMPEY
Hmm.
When'd she say she'd be back?
GABRIELLE
When she's ready to come back.
CRASSUS
Does she often leave you in the dark with the plans?
GABRIELLE
No.
CRASSUS
But she has done it, hasn't she? I understand.
You forget, I'm a warrior, too. Many times, if I'd
told my soldiers my plans I would've had a mutiny.
GABRIELLE
Why is that? Do your soldiers have something
against murdering innocent people?
CRASSUS
Innocent? There are no innocents on a battlefield.
GABRIELLE
What about the people of Gardenis?
CRASSUS
That was regrettable. I was away to the north,
chasing bandits when it happened. The soldiers
responsible were crucified. Who knows? Maybe
Xena really believes those stories.
GABRIELLE
I trust Xena.
CRASSUS
Well, I can't. It's my life on the line.
GABRIELLE
You're not gonna die. Caesar won't let that happen
No, we'll get Vercinix and everyone will be happy.
CRASSUS
I hope you're right.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back to your cage, barbarian! Now get in there!
Vercinix, my name is Xena. I'm working to get
you outta here. Mendala sent me.
VERCINIX
My wife. She escaped from the Romans?
XENA
Yes, and your children. They're safe. They
want their father home again.
I'm here to make sure that happens.
CAESAR
All right, that's enough.
Prison hardly seems the place to tell you this, but
you look incredible. Roman finery becomes you.
XENA
We're not going down that road, this is business.
CAESAR
It's never just business between us, Xena. It's
hatred, war, conflict and it's love.
XENA
I gotta go to the bathroom. Are we done yet?
You're gonna kill me! I know it!
GABRIELLE
Don't, don't!
XENA
I'm not gonna let him die. Gimme a hand!
Here, take this.
I had it made in Rome before I left.
There are two cells there. It fits the lock to each
of them. Help me get his hands up. We're gonna
have to move quickly. Caesar's decided to hold
the gladiatorial fights in the coliseum tomorrow.
I think he's moved the execution up.
GABRIELLE
You were right. He's not going through with the
trade. Does this change our plans?
XENA
Not our part of it.
GABRIELLE
Wha--what does that mean?
It turns out that Vercinix is more of a prize than
I thought. Caesar has staked his reputation on
the capture and execution of him. He's not about
to give that up.
GABRIELLE
But when he knows that it's Crassus-
XENA
It won't matter. The execution will go ahead and
Crassus will die. I'm sorry.
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
XENA
You need to be in place before the games begin.
If I'm right, the execution will be the finale.
GABRIELLE
I wanna talk about this. There's gotta be
another way.
XENA
There's not. The time that Crassus buys us
by walking into the arena is the time that we need
to escape from Rome.
GABRIELLE
Why don't we put the horses in place earlier?
Or--or we could ride-
XENA
Gabrielle, if I could accomplish my plan without
Crassus dying, then fine. But if this means his
death, so be it. We can't think about that.
GABRIELLE
No, I can't avoid it. You are making me be a part
of murder and you're being so casual about it.
XENA
It's not about being casual. It's about focus.
GABRIELLE
Focus on Caesar.
XENA
Drop it, Gabrielle. This is about saving a good
man. Crassus is a cold-blooded murderer. I've
seen his handiwork.
GABRIELLE
I'll do my part.
XENA
Good.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
We'll stop here.
Ah-h! You could'a let me go! Another second, I
would'a been in the trees.
GABRIELLE
I promised Xena I'd switch you for Vercinix.
Ugh! Then, you really are in the middle of it. I
thought you were different from her. I thought you
had a regard for life, no matter whose.
You're not going to die, Crassus. I said I'd switch
you. Now, if the guards recognize who you are,
I have no control over that.
CRASSUS
Don't rely on that. Most of Rome doesn't know
what I look like, let alone the prison guards.
GABRIELLE
You will with this, your imperial ring. It identifies
you in every province. Show this to the guards
once we're gone.
I'm sorry about what I said. I underestimated you.
Thank you.
We have to be going. Drink.
If you're anything like me, you feel naked without
a weapon. Whether you use it or not, there's
something reassuring about the weight and feel
of a solid blade.
XENA
I wasn't aware that I needed a weapon here,
unless there's something I should know about.
POMPEY
Huh. Caesar has no intention of trading Vercinix
for Crassus. And more than that he sent Brutus
out to find your friend, Gabrielle.
XENA
You mean Crassus.
POMPEY
No, it's your friend he wants. He seems to think
she has some sort of power over you. He wants
that power.
XENA
And what's your interest in all this?
POMPEY
I am but a servant of Rome. I want what is good
for her. But if Caesar and Crassus weren't in the
way, I could do many things. For one, I could
release the barbarian. The knife is a gift, one that
will get the owner safely past my army outside
Rome. Goodbye, Xena.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Look at that! Drunk!
GABRIELLE
Ya slob of a husband! Can't take it, anymore! Ya
got in a tavern, and ya...I'll show ya!
No, no, you've got the wrong one! I'll take you all on!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brilliant! ena brings Crassus into Rome, right
under my nose. It's the last place I'd look. And
the girl, Gabrielle?
BRUTUS
Apparently, still with Crassus. Their tracks were
easy to follow until we got into Rome.
CAESAR
Easy? Perhaps too easy. What are you really
after, Xena?
GABRIELLE (voice-over)
I'm tellin' you!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I ain't never been drinking! Drunken it, drunk!
GUARD
Right. Sleep it off, girl, and tell it to the magistrate. Here!
Ugh! Vercinix, Xena sent me. We're going to get
you out of here.
VERCINIX
How?
GABRIELLE
Funny you should ask.
You're going to walk out of here, tomorrow.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello, Xena.
Interesting. Roman design. I can't believe you
would double-cross me. Just as I was about to
double-cross you.
How'd you know?!
CAESAR
You have one obsession, Xena. That's me. And
because of it, I have you and I have Vercinix. And
somewhere out there is an irritating blonde about
to follow a plan that no longer exists.
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
Take me back to when you said you'd get me
out of here.
CAESAR
Patience, Vercinix, you'll be out soon enough.
Tomorrow, as a matter of fact, to face the headsman.
And as for you, Xena, you won't get a chance to
see it. You'll already be dead. The opening act to
my spectacle.
Gabrielle?
GABRIELLE
I'm here. Crassus is still asleep. Catch.
Did Gabrielle fill you in on the plan?
VERCINIX
Yes, you wanna swap Crassus for me. But, if
you have the key, then let's go now.
XENA
No. No, we'd never make it. We have to wait until
all of Rome's eyes are elsewhere.
VERCINIX
On my execution.
XENA
Exactly. Now, call the guard.
VERCINIX
Guard! Here! There's something you should know
about this woman!
What? What is it that's so important?
VERCINIX
It seems she has a key.
(to Brutus and Pompey) Look at those people.
Look at them. Each one of them considers himself
an individual with independent thought and
movement. Yet together, they're like sheep.
Today, they want the death of Vercinix and I intend
to give it to them.
POMPEY
So, you've rescued Crassus?
CAESAR
Crassus is in my city. It's just a matter of time
before I have him. Oh, by the way.
I believe that's your dagger.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah, tough, guy, huh?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Get her!
Citizens of Rome! We are gathered here to mark
the end of an era! The end of resistance in Gaul!
Resistance led by the evil barbarian, Vercinix!
But--but first! I present to you, an ally of the Gauls
and an enemy of Rome, Xena the Warrior Princess!
So let the combat begin!
Ah-h-h-h!
Okay, we have Crassus in your cell being you,
the guard in my cell being Crassus. The horses
are waiting at the stable one block west. When
Xena sees me in the crowd, she'll know we're okay.
VERCINIX
Then, let's get going. The longer we stay here,
the longer she has to fight.
GABRIELLE
Hold on.
This ring. When the guards see it, they'll know
that it's him. They'll set him free.
VERCINIX
Wait! Nevermind. I owe you my life, so I won't stop
you. But Crassus and I will meet again. We
have a blood debt to settle from Gardenis.
GABRIELLE
What are you talking about?
VERCINIX
My brother and his family were there. Crassus
personally ordered the massacre.
GABRIELLE
How can you be so sure, if everyone was killed?
VERCINIX
I found my niece crucified. She told me before
she died.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Get her!
There she goes!
EXTRA
Yeah!
EXTRA
Go!
Come on!
EXTRA
Get her!
EXTRA
Yes!
EXTRA
Get her!
Take her to her cell! We'll deal with her later.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Where's Gabrielle?
VERCINIX
She said she'd meet us at the stable.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah!
EXTRA
Yeah!
Citizens of Rome! What you've been waiting for!
The death of the barbarian, Vercinix!
EXTRA
Yeah!
EXTRA
Yes!
EXTRA
Die!
EXTRA
Yeah!
Well, Caesar, give the people what they want.
Wait. What're you...I'm not Vercinix! I'm Crassus!
I'm not Vercinix! I'm Crassus! I'm telling you. My
ring! My imperial ring!
Tell them who I am!
EXTRA
Yeah!
CRASSUS
Tell them!
EXTRA
Yeah!
CRASSUS
Come on! Tell them!
EXTRA
Yeah!
CRASSUS
Caesar! No!
Caesar!
Gabrielle walks away.
Caesar!
I don't know what's happening to me, Xena. I did
something that I never thought I'd be able to do.
I played judge, jury, and executioner.
XENA
You only did what I told you to.
GABRIELLE
You said Crassus living or dying wasn't the point.
I had a choice. I made it.
XENA
Gabrielle, I put you into a situation I had no right
to. I expected you to understand my logic and ignore
your heart.
GABRIELLE
But I know you were right.
XENA
It wasn't right for you. That's not who you are.
If--if I had to do this all over again-
GABRIELLE
You'd still do it.
XENA
If I couldn't find another way, I would. But I wouldn't
include you.
GABRIELLE
Yeah, but I'd be hurt if you didn't.
XENA
How many more times are you gonna follow me
into battle, huh? How many more times am I
gonna hurt you?
EXTRA
Over there!
XENA
You are the most dear thing to me in all the
world. And yet, instead of protecting you-
GABRIELLE
I'm here, because I want to be here. I love you, Xena.
XENA
I love you too, Gabrielle.
STARRING
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle
GUEST CAST
Karl Urban as Caesar
Matthew Chamberlain as Crassus
Jeremy Callaghan as Pompey
Tamati Rice as Vercinix
Grant Triplow as Brutus
Katrina Browne as Mendala
Gavin Rutherford as Centurion
Riqi Harawira as Guard
Graham Smith as Boat Captain
Written by: Steven L. Sears
Directed by: John Laing
Disclaimer: Caesar's Palace was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Crassus and the gladiators went down for the count.
