Succession
This transcript is dedicated to the memory of Kevin Smith.
Oh, yeah! Oh-h-h-h!
He laughs.
Hah!
Oh, yeah!
Well, you know, you can cut the party tricks. You're
looking for an heir. A mortal to carry on your name.
ARES
Oh, I've considered it.
MAVICAN
Well, here I am. My sword, my life, my heart.
Honey I hate to be the one to break this to you but
one action-packed roll in the sack does not make
you the heir to Ares' mantle. No, you're not the one.
I don't blame you for not seeing it. So come on,
test me.
Mavican you are way outta your league. You have
no idea what my standards are. So why don'tcha
go back to that little gang of bandits you're leading
and leave the world domination to professionals, 'kay?
I'm serious Ares. I don't know what Xena had to
say or do to get the job but I want it.
First, it is not a job. Second, Xena never asked
me for anything. That's how I knew she was the
one. Now, I've got som'in real important to deal
with, but I'll come back later. Don't be here.
Xena that guy was mine.
XENA (voice-over)
I can handle it.
GABRIELLE (voice-over)
Yeah, well, I can help you. Xena-
XENA (voice-over)
Stay back Gabrielle!
I'm not a kid anymore. You think that she would
know that.
Considering all you've been through.
Ares, whatever you're looking for, look somewhere
else. Mm-m!
Do I always have to be after something? You've
been away awhile. Maybe I missed you. Maybe
I'm trying to help.
GABRIELLE
You only help yourself.
ARES
Aw, ultimately that is true but it doesn't mean I
don't understand. Here, let me take a shot at this.
Uh, Xena has been overprotective of you. She's
been treatin' you like you're still...
GABRIELLE
They were five bandits, five of them. She could
have handled four and I would have been happy
with just one. But no, no, she had to take them all.
ARES
It is hard to shed your perceptions of a person.
GABRIELLE
I'm tired of it.
Hey, I notice you're gettin' pretty good with those.
GABRIELLE
At least someone noticed. So Xena doesn't
appreciate that I've been practicing. It's-
Who are you?
MAVICAN
The name is Mavican. I'm looking for Xena.
GABRIELLE
What do you want with her?
MAVICAN
I wanna kill her and I understand that killing you
is the best way to meet her.
ACT ONE
Xena I had her.
XENA
Yeah, yeah.
MAVICAN
That was incredible. I'd have to say Xena, you
are one person where the hype isn't enough.
XENA
You wanted so talk to me so, talk.
MAVICAN
Talk? No, no, no, I wanted to kill you. Still do actually.
Yah-h-h-hah-h-h-h! Yah-h-h-hah-h-h!
Who are you?
MAVICAN
I'm your successor. I'm taking your place. Ares
doesn't believe it yet-
-but we're going to convince him. Hah-h-h-h-h-h!
Hey! Just stop it! Stop it, right now!
(to Mavican) What in the name of...me, didja think
you were doing?
MAVICAN
Getting your attention.
ARES
By destroying Demeter's temple? No. See?
Destroying temples in the name of other gods,
we just don't do it.
MAVICAN
Who cares about her? I'll destroy a thousand of
her temples if I have to. I toldja I was good.
(to Xena) Tell him. Tell him how good I am Xena.
XENA
Good enough to die young. What's this all about Ares?
ARES
Oh, she's not my idea. She's just some hothead
I picked up for a little, uh...diversion? Now she
thinks she's my right hand girl.
MAVICAN
You know Ares your problem is that you don't see
potential. See, you're still hung up on what you
had and lost. Xena. Well, I'm here to let you
know there's better. Hah!
Huh? Maybe, she's right. I've been considering
your successor for some time. (to Mavican) You
wanna take her on? Okay, let's take this where
we can't do any harm.
All right, listen up! The rules are simple! You kill
Xena, you win! I bring you back here! Xena, it's
a little more difficult! You kill Mavican, you win!
You stay right where ya are!
GABRIELLE
That's not fair!
ARES
Oh?! You're going too Gabrielle! Of course, if
anyone wants my help, all she's gotta do is call!
MAVICAN
Woo-hoo! Come on Xena! Don't disappoint me!
Ares we're not playing your little game.
ARES
I didn't ask if you wanted a choice. Maybe she's
got a point. Is there someone better than you?
Don't you think I've waited long enough to find out?
No!
XENA
Hold on!
Xena-a-a-a!
XENA
Gabrielle I'm coming!
Let the game begin.
Xena!
Gabrielle? Gabrielle? Gabrielle?!
Yah-hah!
No weapons, no Gabrielle. Just you and me.
What's the matter Xena? Can't get in that killing
blow? Oh, wait Ares said you can't kill me!
Just too much on your mind to fight straight, huh?
And the sun's going down. What kind of a fighter
are you in the dark?
XENA
You know what Sweetie? You talk too much.
Xena?
XENA
I'm here Gabrielle!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wherever here is.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What are you doing?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Watch it Gabrielle.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lookin' for Xena? See Gabrielle looking is your
problem. If you just stay still, she'll come to ya
and that's what I'm counting on.
GABRIELLE
Mavican, Amazons invented the technique of
fighting from trees. The first thing they teach you
is not to let your footprints end where you jump!
Oh, no! Ares said that Xena couldn't kill you.
He didn't say anything about me, so don't do
anything stupid.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Watch it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yah! I'm trying to decide, is live bait preferable
to dead bait? Especially when the bait wants
to kill me?!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
No, if Xena sees you dead, she might do
something sensible.
It's all right Gabrielle. As long as it's me that she
wants, you're going to be okay. You're gonna be okay.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you have a nice nap?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know it's strange.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really thought Xena would have done something
during the night, under the cover of darkness.
At least, that's what I would have done. So what's
it like? I mean, being with Xena?
It's like a brush with eternity, isn't it?
GABRIELLE
What are you talking about?
MAVICAN
Oh Gabrielle please, you're a part of making the
legend true. Those scrolls you write. Yeah, I got
a hold of one a while back. You know? You really
should write more. I'm gonna need someone to
write me into history after I kill her.
GABRIELLE
I hate to tell you this but history is fickle.
MAVICAN
History will remember me Gabrielle!
GABRIELLE
Why? Because you think you might kill someone?
MAVICAN
You don't get it. Ares doesn't get it. People will
talk about me for ages.The woman who stood
toe-to-toe with Xena.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
And win or lose, I'll be remembered.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You need help.
Oh-h-h, I wish it were that simple. I'm not crazy
Gabrielle. Haven't you ever been struck with the
difference between us and the gods? They're
immortal because we make them that way.
Don't you think there was a moment when Xena
just did it all for destiny?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Destiny.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sun's up.
Oh, Ares!
You are too rich. Oh, Ares we're gonna make such
a great team.
ACT TWO
This is too funny. I mean, did Ares think he was
evening the odds?
XENA
Ares put me and Gabrielle into one being.
MAVICAN
You get the day shift, she gets the night watch.
Oh, come on Xena you've gotta admit, it's pretty
funny. He got her out of the way so you wouldn't
get distracted. Of course I kill you, I kill her and I
was just beginning to like her. Oh well.
Listen Mavican. I know Ares. He's only concerned
about one thing and that's himself.
MAVICAN
You mean he was planning on using me? That's
strange Xena 'cause I thought I was using him. It
seemed like a great arrangement.
XENA
Mavican I've been down this road before. I know
what it's like to chase destiny. You can't win. If we
can work together, we can defeat Ares. This is all
about us fighting one another. If we don't, Ares loses.
MAVICAN
No-o-o! If we don't, I lose. Xena I'm on a path that
I can't change. I know it and I accept it. But if I don't
walk this path, I'm nothing. Hah-h-h!
Uh!
It's no use Xena! I just have to wait for sundown
and Gabrielle!
What do you want?
I swear. Hey Xena, I want your honest opinion,
objectively. I mean she's better than I thought.
XENA
I don't get Ares. All this just to see your new
girlfriend fight?
ARES
No-o-o-o, watch my old girlfriend fight. I've missed it.
XENA
Where you been lately.
ARES
Oh, yeah you fight all the time.
In fact you did a pretty good number on Caesar
and those Romans. Pity, really A lot of potential.
Still Mavican has that, uh, certain something,
something which you seem to have lost. And I
just wanna find out if anybody else has got it.
XENA
And what about Gabrielle? Is she up in the dark
little room you set up?
ARES
Ya like that, huh? Yeah, I thought it might fire ya
up if you could watch the game. And no, Gabrielle
is there, but she can't see us.
XENA
So what's the point? Why have ya joined us both
together so that we can both fight Mavican individually?
Why not? Besides she's gettin' pretty good at it.
She's smart too. Even though someone doesn't
want to admit it. She's already figured out part of
the riddle.
XENA
That I can't kill Mavican but Gabrielle can? Well
you'd like that, wouldn'tcha?
(to herself) You'd like that, wouldn'tcha?
Oh, I see. You want me to find you. That's nice,
very nice.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay Mavican, show yourself.
I hate to kill ya Xena. There's so many things I
could learn from you, like how do you know when
you're about to be attacked?
XENA
Just always assume you will be.
MAVICAN
Ah-h-h so it's more philosophical than a gift. Must
be tiring on the soul. Thanks.
The only thing I'm gonna regret about this is not
killing Xena directly, but any kill is a good one.
The game is over.
ACT THREE
Where's Xena?
MAVICAN
You really don't know? Ares has put the two of
you in the same body. You get the nights, she
gets the day. Problem is, you're stuck with me for
the night.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Or at least long enough for me to kill you.
XENA
Come on, Gabrielle, look around you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good girl.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What? You think you can take me on with a staff?
Please Gabrielle, I perfected the art.
GABRIELLE
I have nothing to lose, do I?
Uh!
Now run! Get out of there!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You can't hide Gabrielle! I'll find you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before sunup, you're mine.
You have to like her style, the focus, the intensity,
the ability to learn and adapt.
She is just incredible. I can't believe I took her
for granted for so long.
XENA
You're just using Mavican to get to me Ares. It
won't work. Why don't you give up on me?
ARES
Xena I have given up on you. And what makes
you think I was talkin' about Mavican?
XENA
This is about Gabrielle. You're not testing Mavican.
You're after Gabrielle.
ARES
You're not jealous? I mean, despite what Mavican
thought, I have been thinking about your heir. And
who better than one you trained?
You leave her out of this.
ARES
Arrogance! There's the fire, there's the anger
you lost.
XENA
She'll never follow you.
ARES
Well she hasn't heard my offer yet. And anyway,
how well do you really know her anymore? Well
I guess we'll find out when she kills Mavican.
Ares!
Come on Gabrielle, you can fight him. You know
Ares well enough.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena, where are you?
Plenty of time.
"If you read this, you'll know that I'm here. Ares
has merged us into the same body. But the same
way that the world shares day and night, never
sees the same two together. Mavican is tough
but we can defeat her. A lot of it depends on you,
though. You've figured out part of Ares' riddle but
you can't kill her Gabrielle. It's something that Ares
wants to see and I don't know why yet. Together we
can get out of this."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Gabrielle.
GABRIELLE
What do you want?
ARES
I've been watching you. I think you've got potential.
GABRIELLE
Potential for what? N--n--never mind. I really don't
want to know.
ARES
You've also got a slanted opinion of me. Okay
only somewhat slanted but I'm serious. You're
not quite there yet but maybe I've been dismissing
you too easily over the years. Maybe the heir to
Xena's throne has been right in front of me all along.
GABRIELLE
Are you out of your mind?
ARES
How's your wound? Okay? Here's the deal. I've
learned a few things from Xena a--a--and perhaps
my way of peace through power isn't quite what I
thought it was.
GABRIELLE
You are so full of-
ARES
No now that is Xena's problem these days. She's
so set in her ways.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
She won't even make an effort to see change.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now you should know that more than anyone. It's
okay. You don't have to answer. It's obvious. It's
painfully obvious.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
So please, don't-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-do to me what Xena does to you. Just--just hear
me out, honestly. Okay?
GABRIELLE
Okay.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I need, what I think I've always needed, is
someone strong enough to lead people. I think
the key is to find someone-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-who's learned how to fight but has the discretion
not to. Now there's something Xena never had.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What about Mavican?
ARES
What about her? She's set in her ways already.
And have you listened to her speak? No the old
Ares, he would have loved her but not me. I want
you to look beyond our past. I know how you feel
about me. You got good reason. But maybe, uh,
maybe gods can change too.
GABRIELLE
What happens to Xena?
ARES
Xena. Xena goes home, lives with her mother
and spends the rest of her years safe in the
knowledge that someone she trusts is in control.
Now I wantcha to think about this but don't take
too long. Mavican is really-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-intent on killing Xena.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Of course her destiny is in your hands.
With this you can kill Mavican.
Now you do that and I'll know you're ready.
Nice place. Room for one more?
No Gabrielle!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(whispers) Don't do it. Don't do it.
ACT FOUR
Back off Mavican, I'm warning you.
MAVICAN
You're warning me? Gabrielle I'll admit you've
got somethin' but it's over.
Come on! Attack! You're on the defensive. Kill me
if you can! You don't have the nerve.
(whispering) Don't do it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ares wants me to kill you. If I do that then he wins
and we all lose! I'm not gonna do it.
Xena.
How's the wound Xena? It's just a little gift I gave
Gabrielle and now you're stuck with it. Didn't you
just know she'd be your fatal flaw?
XENA
Everybody's got one. What about yours?
MAVICAN
Nice try. I have no flaw!
Sure you do. It's your misguided belief in your
own destiny.
MAVICAN
My destiny is to kill you.
XENA
That's wrong. Your destiny is to be forgotten.
No-o-o! What are you doing?!
We're trapped in here!
XENA
That's right, trapped, where no one can hear us,
and no one will ever know what's happened to
you. Whether I kill you or you kill me, your destiny
is finished.
MAVICAN
No-o-o!
Did you forget? You can't kill me!
XENA
That right?
You see? Even if I die, you're gonna live on in here,
buried alive at the bottom of this pit 'cause nobody
knows you're here.
MAVICAN
Oh!
Ares knows!
XENA
But Ares doesn't care. You see? To him, you're
just a loser.
MAVICAN
No! Lemme go! Lemme go! Ares! Ares! Help me!
Help me!
Mavican are you asking for my help?
MAVICAN
Yes, I'm asking for your help God of War.
XENA
She's asking for your help.
What are you doing Ares?! You said I could ask!
ARES
Yeah, I said ya could. I never said ya should.
Ares! No-o-o-o! No-o-o-o-o! No-o-o-o-o!
Xena.
XENA
Are you all right?
GABRIELLE
Yeah.
Oh, here, this.
GABRIELLE
It--i--it--it'll heal.
No, d--don't say it. Have a little respect for me,
will ya? You won already!
XENA
We both won. Gabrielle I'm proud of you.
ARES
Oh please. I gave her an opportunity for greatness.
XENA
Following you is not an opportunity Ares. It's
a curse.
ARES
You say 'Min-o-taur,' I say, 'Mine-o-taur.' Whatever.
GABRIELLE
You said anyone could ask for your help.
XENA
Years ago, Ares said to me that anyone who
asked for his help doesn't deserve it. So when
Mavican asked-
GABRIELLE
She lost.
ARES
I really gotta be more careful with my riddles.
The offer's still open. Think about it.
You know I'm surprised that you didn't consider
it. What he said.
GABRIELLE
Xena what he said doesn't matter. I know you.
Sometimes I wonder if you really know me but
I know what's in your heart.
XENA
Then you know more than I do. Gabrielle I do see
you. Sometimes I have trouble facing it but I
promise, I will.
You don't know how much that means. Maybe
Ares did some good after all, huh?
XENA
Tell you what.
Ow.
The next bad guy we come across is all yours.
The next seven little bad guys we come across,
they're all yours.
GABRIELLE
'Little?' Is that a crack about my height?
XENA
No, they're just harder for me to reach.
Yeah. Well I guess that makes sense.
XENA
Ah, yeah.
GABRIELLE
Good strategy.
XENA
Yep.
STARRING
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle
GUEST CAST
Kevin Smith as Ares
Jenya Lano as Mavican
Written by: Steven L. Sears
Directed by: Rick Jacobson
Disclaimer: Ares' libido was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
